July 25, 2007

  • What's in a
    name?

    One of the things
    about my job right now is that I get to travel around Taiwan, usually
    on the Suzuki but currently on the Krapco, visiting potential vendors
    and suppliers, most of whom are very keen to get a piece of the
    Neptune Digital pie. Maybe it is down to my sales ability, but most
    vendors can see a lot of potential in the products we are making, and
    even though initial sales will likely be small, they see good
    opportunities for some long term business.

    Unlike Emily,
    however (see post passim), I prefer not to be late, and endeavour to
    build in a little time cushion to ensure that I arrive at the vendor
    punctually. If I am – perchance – early enough, then I will stop
    at the local Starcraps for a quick caramel latte.

    A lot of Chinese
    people choose rather interesting western names, with some men
    choosing women's names, women choosing men's. I met one lady last
    week at one of our potential vendors named Julian.

    "That's an
    interesting name for a lady," I remarked. "Why did you
    choose it?"

    "Well,"
    came the reply, "the printers made a mistake with my business
    card 15 years ago, so I just kept the name."

    Sorry? Is that
    logical? Someone makes a mistake printing my name, and I hassle the
    crap out of them and make sure they print it properly. This lady
    decided to accept her fate, and become Julian. Or perhaps he had a
    sex change op that went seriously wrong? Or...

    Visiting another
    company in Hsintien, I had enough time to get that additional shot of
    caffeine inside my body, and ordered my usual large cup of hot
    caramel latte, when I met a new girl working in the Starcraps. As a
    regular there I pretty much know everyone, and they even give me the
    occasional free coffee. I probably spend half my wages here!

    The new girl's
    name is Brocoly.

    "Why did you
    choose that name?" I enquired.

    "I like
    eating broccoli," came the reply.

    "If I chose
    my Chinese name the way you chose your western one," I told her,
    "I would probably be called stinky tofu."

    "So what is
    your Chinese name?" she asked.

    I told her.

    She laughed.

    "Given your
    western name," I informed the rather attractive girl, "you,
    young lady, are in no position to laugh at my name."

    She stopped
    laughing.

    Chinese will
    react in one of two different ways when they know my Chinese name:
    either they think I am a very unstable person (which is probably what
    the Flavour felt, hence the dumping 8 months ago) or they think I am
    a very romantic man (which is probably what Emily thinks). What they
    fail to realise is that I am more than likely both, but that's not
    the point here.

    Whilst the Suzuki
    has been in the mechanics, the spare parts on order from Japan, the
    Krapco has been a far from worthy replacement. On the second day the
    battery failed, and so I was slightly late for my meeting – I was
    also very sweaty. Having to walk the damn thing a kilometre in 40
    degree heat is not my idea of fun. Thankfully all the bike needed was
    45 minutes of juicing up, and the convenience store next door had
    opened (not one of the many 24 hour ones!) so I was able to replenish
    the liquid quickly.

    The guy at the
    mechanics was decent enough and did not charge me any money, and so
    after a while off I zoomed to the day's meetings.

    The day after I
    was due for meetings in Taipei County and then Hsinchu, so after my
    first discussion down through the mountains I tonked. It was a nice
    ride, but longer than I had anticipated and so – not for the first
    time – I arrived late. However I did manage to let the young lady
    know of my impending tardiness so she waited for me. The discussion
    was interesting enough, but by the time the meeting ended it was
    dark, and so it was time to head up the coast once more, dinner with
    Emily planned. I had called her to let her know I would be back
    around 8.30, and she said "Bring pizza", so that sounded
    like a great deal to me, and thus it was agreed.

    Alas after being
    flashed by a speed camera (I was only going 30 km/h above the speed
    limit) even greater disaster struck. Just as on the Suzuki a few
    months ago, the drive shaft broke, disintegrating the ribbon in to a
    grillion pieces and spewing dust all over the place.

    Thankfully though
    I was close to the nearest township, and so I cruised on the bike
    down the hill and then pushed it up the other side. I can safely say
    that cruising is a lot more fun than pushing. I got to a junction,
    looked left, looked right, and saw no bike shops at all. So I left
    the bike parked, and walked to the right. A hundred metres on and I
    found an alley, where there as a Krapco dealer. I went to get the
    replacement bike and wheeled it in to the dealer. I reckoned he
    needed about an hour to fix it.

    I was wrong.

    "I can't get
    the parts today," he informed me.

    You're fugging
    kidding me. This is Taiwan!

    "When can I
    get it?" I asked, my serious amount of impatience not showing at
    all. I've become more Chinese than I ever imagined possible.

    "Come back
    tomorrow," came the reply.

    "Ok," I
    reckoned. "About lunchtime?"

    "No, about
    the same time as now."

    8:00 PM. Great.
    And I also had another problem. I was 45km from home, no railway in
    sight, no bus route, and certainly no means of transport.

    "Got any
    ideas?" I asked the old lao ban. "I need to get to Bali
    town tonight."

    The lao ban
    called his friend, who drove me home for a mere NT$700.

    I got home, no
    pizza for Emily, but I had told her of the problems, and so she
    cooked me dinner for when I got home. Not having a huge amount of
    ingredients in my home, she still did a great job, and I will be more
    than happy to let her cook any time she likes.

    The next evening
    I had arranged to meet Emily at Taipei Main Station so we could head
    to Jongli together and then take a cab down to Yong An, where the
    Krapco was waiting. Personally I would have just preferred to hand
    the keys to the guy who is repairing my Suzuki and tell him to go
    pick it up himself, but alas the Suzuki was still not ready.

    Emily said she
    would be at the station at 6:20, which was great because there was a
    train at 6:32. At 6.15 she called to say she was not coming, and then
    at 6:25 she called again to say she was on her way. I told her she
    had 7 minutes to get to the station, buy her ticket and make it to
    the platform. Needless to say, she decided not to go after all.

    One of the great
    things about my cellphone is that it has a golf game on it, and so I
    played Vijay Singh Golf all the way down to Jongli, where I then took
    a cab across to the coastal town, and in to the Krapco dealer, who
    had the bike ready for me, and took 2 blue $1000 notes off my hands.

    Up the coast I
    then zoomed on the Krapco, arriving at my home around 10. I was
    knackered. I can't wait for the Suzuki to be repaired – Kymco is a
    stupid name for a bike, and their quality sucks. I miss my Skywave.