September 21, 2008

  • Tired and Exhausted

    Having ridden the Skywave for what seemed like an eternity with a broken exhaust, mis-firing and letting out big bangs of carbon dioxide in to the atmosphere, I was at my mechanic's place once more, getting oil and brakes changed when I was reading a magazine. Ok, I was not reading it, I was looking at the pictures. I saw an ad for exhausts, and there was one for a Skywave 250 cc! I asked the lao ban if he thought it would be a good one.

    "Da gei ok" he replied - which means probably ok.

    As I trust him completely, I said find out how much it costs. He did - called me up a couple of days later with a price that was completely acceptable, and so I placed the order. The following week, he called me to let me know the new exhaust had arrived, and so I zoomed over to Tienmu to get it fitted.

    First problem. After trying to fit the new exhaust on, turning it one way then the other, the guys finally found out the company had sent the wrong one, and so they had to send it back to the manufacturer in Kaohsiung, and re-fit the old muffler. I rode away, a little disappointed, but I knew it would be back soon, and my bike would be quiet and smoother than a baby's bottom.

    Once more, a few days later, the lao ban called me up to say the new one has arrived, and so in I tonked once more. This time they sussed it, fitted it, and started the engine. It sounded like a Harley Davidson on acid.

    "Should it be like that?" I asked.

    "Probably," said lao ban. Translated in to real words, that means probably not.

    So I rode it around for a while, and the mis-firing was still there, just not quite so bad, but damn it was loud. You could hear me coming from 20 km away. I asked the lao ban if there was something he could do, and he said he did not want to lose face by sending the exhaust back again. So what he was prepared to offer me was a huge discount off a Suzuki made exhaust. I asked him how much it would cost, and he said normally NT$19000, but to me $13000. With the financial problems I had at the time, that was not really an option I could take.

    And then money started to trickle in, and so after 2 or 3 months of being loud, I told the lao ban to place the order. A few weeks later - Suzuki Taiwan being still a bunch of incompetent nobs - I got the call to say it had arrived. Rob and Skywave rode in, the new exhaust was fitted, and I can now hear myself think as I am riding once more.

    Before the new new exhaust had arrived, I was out at a business meeting looking extremely handsome, riding to the offices on the Skywave. It was a hot, sunny day, and everything was looking up. I was my usual charming self, and the meeting was as successful as it needed to be. I then had another meeting in the afternoon, so I took the long way there, as I had plenty of time. Problem was, as I was heading back up towards Lujhu, it started to rain. And not just a little. And it came so suddenly, that I was soaked, in my suit, and no longer handsome. So I called up the company to let them know I had to reschedule, and they said no problem.

    I rode back towards Bali, cursing my bad luck, when even more struck. Just as I was alongside the runway of Taoyuan airport, my rear tyre went down, and I was wobbling. Thankfully for once I was not riding that section of road at 120 km/h, but a lot more respectable 70. So I maintained control of the bike, and found a mechanic who I hoped would be able to replace the tyre. He did better than that - he just fitted a little plug in to the hole, charged me $90 TW and gave me a free raincoat. Nothing like shutting the barn door after the horse has done a runner.

    A few weeks later, I was riding the new mountain bike, had headed up Guanyin mountain, down the other side, over another mountain, down again, in to Bali, and was on the final stretch coming home when some prat decided to try to knock me off my bike by pulling his Mercedes directly in to my oncoming path. So I swerved to avoid him, at the same time riding over something that my tyre did not like at all, and so another puncture was experienced.

    It was 5 km from my home, and so I decided to head towards the bike path, where I knew there were a lot of places to rent bikes. Surely someone there would be able to help. Even better - there was a Giant shop, and they helped me, repairing everything and charging me just a few dollars for it. I met a guy in the shop who had pretty much the same problem as me, who also spoke good English, so as the Giant guys were repairing the bikes, we had a good talk, all about the usual questions that Chinese people ask us non Chinese whenever we meet for the first time (see posts passim).

    The bike was ready, so I jumped on, rode the last few km home, showered and had a rest, watching The Moment of Truth which has arrived on Taiwan TV!