May 29, 2009
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Alpha Blondy
A week after meeting El Presidente of the African nation, we received a visit from the Prime Minister of another. Mistakes from the first visit had been learnt from, and this time almost everything was better. Except they forgot the flowers. And no red carpet again. Thank GOD the person who organized it had done all this before, otherwise we would have been in some serious trouble.
After the presentations, both of them essentially saying the same thing, it was question time, and this time your humble chronicler was introduced immediately, perhaps my ability to answer direct questions proving beyond any shadow of a doubt my capabilities. Once more I gave the spiel about how we foresee the future cooperation, and when the issue of quantities came up, I suggested that this should be a matter to discuss behind closed doors. Our company president, who speaks very little English, was getting a translation, and I could see him smile when I made that comment.
It was decided that we would meet at the Grand Hyatt Hotel the next morning, a delegation from my company, led by my good self, to go through the points discussed and brought up during this initial briefing. So the following morning I arrived on time, my colleagues also getting there pretty much on schedule, the Africans – of course – being late, despite the fact that they were residing in the hotel itself. TAB – That’s Africa Baby. You can take the man out of Africa, but you can’t take Africa out of the man.
During the discussion, one of the delegation from this African nation asked me the question I knew would come, in some format or other.
“What will you give the ministers to motivate them to promote your proposal?”
I was not going to fall in to this one. I knew something like this was going to come, what I was not certain of was what format the question would take. My reply though was class:
“Surely leaving a legacy of helping to improve the economy of your country” (and by now I had already lost him) “and bring down unemployment is the ultimate motivation for any minister?”
Tosser.
After half an hour, the Africans decided they were hungry, so some breakfast was ordered, some tea, some coffee, and we continued talking. The discussion had to be cut short though due to other commitments, which they were of course already late for, and the sandwiches and tea and coffee all arrived just as the proceedings were coming to an end. Cue African anger and impatience. Typical – as soon as someone has a little power, they think it is alright to hassle the poor person who – through no fault of his or her own – happens to be in the way.
The Africans left, leaving the company contingent to drink the coffee and eat all the sandwiches, and your humble scribe had a word with the lady who had served us and been on the receiving end of the African rant. Thankfully I also know the manager of the hotel, so I said I would write to him and tell him the story. I know Africans – they would complain. Up from where they sit, right up there where they are so far detached from the real world, the real Africa, they forget where they have come from. All it is, is about lining their pockets and the pockets of those who they have to suck up to in order to keep their share of the linings of their pockets.
Ah the joys of corruption. Brought back memories of my trip to Cameroon back in 99. Arriving, having forgotten my yellow card with all the injections and stuff I had had. Apparently it was needed. I had forgotten. So theoretically I was not allowed in. But for a mere $20 I was given a brand new one, with all the immunisations I had had, as well as some I had not. Cameroon was seen as the most corrupt nation on the planet for 7 years running. Now it’s been overtaken – that does not necessarily mean the country is less corrupt (I would doubt that)… just others have improved on the system Cameroon works on.
You got to love Africa.
