December 30, 2010
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Wedding Part III: Taipei
With the arrival of the olds, and my friends from Germany who I had not seen for going on 10+ years, the international guests were all accounted for. My Korean friend Hunkyu was unable to make it, Manfred from Germany also sent his apologies, and God knows what happened to Werner and Fred from Austria – but I kind of figured they would not be there.
Etienne – my best man – had been to the tailor to get a suit prepared, and my own suit was out of the dry-cleaner, the same purple tie from the wedding in Brisbane was ready for the ceremony. I had downloaded some music for the wedding, and burnt it on to a CD so that our guests could have some nice background music as they feasted away in the Amazing Hall.
In the morning the olds had given us some space, taking a walk along the river, as Joanne helped me to translate my speech in to Chinese. I wrote it in an English/Chinese combination that only I would understand. I asked Joanne to say the words in Chinese, and I wrote it down the way it sounded to me. I hoped that our guests would understand what I was trying to say. With a shy wife, the whole speech was my responsibility. Nervous? No way – this was going to be fun!
The olds came back, the Germans arrived, and together we all headed downstairs, hailing 2 taxis to take us in to the location of our banquet. Joanne was in with my olds and Christian’s daughter, the rest of his family in with me. For some reason, our taxi took a much longer route and ended up getting to the location 15 minutes later. Weird. Stupid taxi driver, not taking the right way. Even ended up at the wrong location until I told him there are several Amazing Halls in Taipei.
Joanne headed downstairs to get changed and made up, but her make-up girl was late. I stayed upstairs, and realized that I had forgotten the CD. Bugger. Pops volunteered to go get it, and Christian also went with him. Thankfully there was plenty of time for it all.
Some guests started to arrive – Etienne and Brigitte one of the first, and both looking rather dapper it must be said. The wine had been delivered, so I got the guys to open a bottle for me, and so I greeted the guests with a glass in hand. Darkness started to fall, and pops returned with the CD. Cool. Not cool. The AV guy told me that there were no contents on the CD – I must have burnt an ISO file. Damn. Plan B – Pink Floyd. Thankfully I had also taken a few CD’s with me to lend to Et for an event he was hosting the following weekend.
As the guests were handing over their red envelopes, the most suitable song “Money” was being played. With several of Joanne’s friends counting the cash as it came in, there was perhaps no song more suited to the event.
The Red Lions started to pour in, and finally it was time for everyone to get seated, and for the party to begin. Etienne and Jessica, Joanne’s bridesmaid, entered first. Initially I got the feeling that he was not so comfortable with that, but the photos prove otherwise. Then it was my turn, and boy did I relish the spotlight.
I entered, lapping up the applause, enjoying every moment, and finally got to walk down the aisle where I waited for my wife and her father to come. The curtain opened, Joanne looking absolutely stunning, her father in his suit, looking a little like a fish out of water, and less comfortable with this whole thing with each step taken.
In Chinese culture, it is customary to thank the father when he hands over the bride to the groom, but Joanne was so nervous, she sent him packing. Oops. We managed to get him to turn around and come back, I gave him a hug, Joanne laughing the whole time.
We walked up to the stage, arm in arm, laughing all the way and our hostess introduced us in Chinese, and Etienne made his extremely short speech, thanking Jessica and toasting her. Matt, a good friend who runs KGB Burgers, the best fugging burgers in Taiwan, translated his speech, somehow talking about 10 times as long as Etienne did, and also getting a lot of laughs and applause from the Taiwanese in the audience. Is he trying to upstage me?
Then it was my turn – bi-lingual speech of thanks, paragraph by paragraph in English and Mandarin. I was enjoying it – thanking Joanne’s olds for welcoming me to the family, thanking my olds for coming all the way from England, thanking Joanne for putting up with a fat old opinionated git like me.
As I finished, I also was greeted with applause, Joanne looking at me with a huge smile, obviously pleased that I did not embarrass her too much, and also for saving her from actually having to make a speech herself. I too toasted our guests, and then we headed to the table where we toasted Joanne’s and my family. I managed to eat some of the pink and white sugary balls, but seriously the rest of the meal was a real disappointment. I thought that the veggie food was going to be quite good, but it ended up being more than just a little poor.
The lack of decent food was not going to ruin my wedding day though, that was for sure. They had some sweet pink and white chewy balls – got no idea what they are, but they are served at every single wedding in Taiwan, so I managed to eat pretty much a plate full of those. Joanne’s uncle and aunty were being nice to us, two faced nobs. I tried to have them re-seated, at the back, but Joanne was having none of it, and made sure they were at our table. Such a shame… I tried!
Friends were mingling – non Taiwanese coming up to the table of honour, and chatting with us. This is not the done thing for Taiwanese, but Joanne did not mind, and her parents did not seem in any way put out. Essentially it was a time for smiles and laughter and happiness.
So after a little food, it was time for Joanne to go and get changed in to her purple dress. I headed out after her, and then we came back, waiting for the photo slideshow to finish. First in the show was Joanne, growing up and becoming a beautiful woman. Then there was me – the Taiwanese guests all laughing at me as a baby – the photo of the Red Lions getting the biggest cheer. Class. Then the photos of Joanne and my life together. I had still got some pics from our first time round dating, and added them to some of us in Boracay, and also other ones we had taken throughout the year, culminating in a few from our wedding in Brisbane.
It was then time to play the game that Joanne had organized – 10 seats per table, everyone getting a number. Joanne pulled a numbered ball out of a box, and the respective person at each table gets a small gift from us. Cheats though – the box only had 3 balls! Naughty naughty. As the gifts were being handed out, it was time for us to go around all the tables and toast our guests, both sets of parents in tow.
This proved an interesting experience for my olds – not a tradition you get over in the UK, that’s for sure! Starting off with the best man’s table, where the Germans were, as well as some work colleagues, we made our way all the way down the hall, the girl from the Amazing Hall trying to fill my glass with juice. Be serious woman!
Thankfully I managed to procure some wine, and made sure I filled up the glass at each table where there was still some to be had.
On the way back up, we stopped and toasted all of Joanne’s guests, including where her mother’s friends were. At this point I needed a wine refill, and there was a bottle on the table, so I said – in Taiwanese – “paise” (excuse me) as I reached for the bottle and drained it. The Taiwanese all loved it – it is one of the best things you can say to a Taiwanese person.
At another table, the daughter of one of Joanne’s friends wanted to say something to me in English, but was a little shy. So we were patient, and waited for her to get her good wishes out to us – very sweet.
Finally we made it back to the top table, and then sat down for a couple of minutes. A little while after, it was time for the next change of clothes, Joanne getting changed in to her orange dress. As I went out to get her, I saw one of my friends – Dr Chen – with an orange tie. I liked the look of it.
“Hey William,” I said, smiling like the Cheshire cat, “can I borrow your tie? You can have it back later!”
“No you can keep it,” said William.
Off with the tie – and the orange one was thrust in to my pocket for quick use. Nothing like being colour co-ordinated with your wife at your wedding banquet! Purple tie to go with the purple dress, and an orange tie to go with the orange one. I just ooze class. Except for the fact that the tie was polyester. No chance of me keeping it. Had it been silk though, then I might have been persuaded!
Joanne in the orange dress looked absolutely stunning. The purple dress – in my opinion – was not the best one she had chosen for the evening, but the final one was just gorgeous.
So we headed outside to wait for the final photo slideshow – this time of our official wedding photos – posing for yet more photos. Not that I ever tire of such things, you understand.
And then back in for the last time, to a rapturous applause, all our guests by this time obviously on the outside of a few alcoholic bevies. This is what we all like to see! We waved, we smiled, and Joanne left the stage as I took the mic. It was pure entertainment time, so I invited the Red Lions on to the stage for a collective singing of our anthem – You’re just too good to be true.
The Lions staggered and stumbled their way to the stage, Panda noticeably being first and drinking, the classy Yorkshireman that he is, straight from the bottle. That’s one way of making sure no one else takes any of it. The music started, and we were all singing different versions of the song. And most Lions don’t know the words after half the first verse is over anyway. Still, we made it through, the crowd went absolutely wild, and the Lions headed back to their collective seats.
Dessert had been served, and this was the signal that the evening was over, so Joanne and I headed to the front door where we waited to say goodbye to our guests, handing them the chocolate hearts that we had bought Down Under. Christian’s son by this time was hyper, and trying to nick all the chocolate hearts, so I had to go and have a word with his old man. Both disappeared for a short while, and later returned, the eyes of the young one red from being chastised.
People lined up to say goodbye, except for the Red Lions who were still in the mood to party, but we had to empty the place by 10, so somehow we managed to explain to everyone that the party was over, and we had one last “You’re just too good to be true” in the foyer.
And that – essentially – was it. Party time finished, it was time to get serious about this marriage I have just committed myself to for the rest of my life. And I know I am the luckiest man to have won the heart of such a wonderful woman. Being married to Joanne, and raising a family with her will bring new challenges, but so many wonderful times as well.
