So I have been in the same apartment for 8 years, and the rent was about to be up – the question arose … did I want to renew it for another two years, or was it actually time to BUY an apartment? The problem is, I love living where I am, on the edge of the river, with a view of Da Tun Shan and Yang Ming national park. I don’t want to leave it. But also, paying bucket loads of cash to someone each month and not getting anything from it is not the best thing for my financial future, nor indeed that of any children I may have one day. And I am at that point in my life where I want to have a family.

So what to do? Thankfully the answer lied not 250 metres from where I currently sit. Along the same stretch of riverbank are 2 new apartment blocks, one of which is a luxury place with swimming pool, cinema, gym, all kinds of interesting things that add lots of money to its value. We headed out there to have a look, and checked out a couple of the apartments. Yes the view was stunning, but I have that view already. Yes the apartments themselves were fantastic, but when it came to talking about a price, it was way out of anything that resembled affordable.

Plan B: the building further down the road. Again, looking at multiple apartments, there were two that were nice – on 7th and 8th floors. The one on the 7th floor though was a little obstructed by the apartment block right in front of the river, but a quick phone call to the police to get the illegally constructed top floor would not be a problem, and would solve the issue very quickly. One of the great things about Taiwan is they keep bringing in laws that the police are obliged to act upon if a member of the public draws their attention to it. And this is one of those laws…

But the 8th floor was nicer – and the phone call could still take place. So it came down to the price, and the initial price asked was not realistic or affordable in my humble opinion, and so we haggled. I dropped the price big, and they said no. I said if they give it to me for that price, we’ll sign the contract today, and they said no. But they brought their price down. And then again, and then once more. It was getting close to acceptable, and so I said I would meet them half way – between the lowest price they had so far, and the price I want. After consultation, they agreed, and I was a happy man. Also extremely nervous – where the heck was I going to get the cash?

Three bedrooms, a nice kitchen area (FINALLY!), a bathroom with a BATH, 2 balconies, a view of the river and also a view of Guanyin Shan, where my baby Kahukura is buried. Plus a very nice living area – all of this adds up to a wonderful place, and I can’t wait to move in. We paid a deposit, sorted out a loan from the olds, and are now waiting to hear from the bank about the mortgage. Assuming it all goes ok, it’s very close to moving time.

Of course, there was also a sign that it is time to move – the drier that was in the apartment has broken, and so I headed out to find a new one. Many years ago when I was still fairly new to Taiwan, I went and bought a TV from the local Panasonic store, which is a family owned and run place, not one of the major chain stores, and I got what I thought was a good deal. As the TV itself still works, I would say I got a great deal. So I headed back there for a new drier. I had a look at a brochure – decided on one that was very similar to the one which broke, and paid the lady. It was delivered a couple of hours later, and was absolutely huge. Definitely though an improvement on the last one – able to take up to 7 kilos of washing. In other words, perfect for a family.

Another way that I have planned in advance for this family I am supposed to have one day is with the new coffee table I bought. Taiwan has a lot of places that are full of cheap things, which look crap. And so many of the good places have expensive products which are not worth it, even though you are supposed to haggle and get the price down a little. After lots of searching for the right one, I finally found a place that has nice things at affordable prices. And I chose one that has round edges, so if a baby bumps in to it – and what baby does not bump in to things? – then the head will not be bumped in to a jagged edge. Does this sound to you like me? I was surprised at this thought in my buying process.

So now it all boils down to the next 24 days. If I can get the mortgage sorted in that time, the apartment is ours, and we can move in. I – for one – can’t wait! The timing is perfect, as it is exactly the date that my rent is up. You just don’t get better than that – but of course, things never work out as planned, so let’s see what surprises fate has in store!

There are some things that perhaps are not wise, one week before surgery. Eating bacon sandwiches by the ton just before that triple heart bypass, for example. Another fine example is playing a game of football just before going in for double hernia surgery. But I am nothing if not a selfless man, and so with the Red Lions without a goalkeeper on the Sunday, I volunteered to go in. Having not played for 5 months, I was more worried about embarrassing myself with endless howlers than I was about getting injured.

Despite all this I did tell the Lions I would not be kicking the ball – after all, I’m not stupid. I told the midfield to drop and come collect the ball, and everyone said they understood. Nice one. I thought.

Having played the previous day, losing for the first time this BML season against the arch rivals, Taipei City, the Red Lions were a little deflated for the game against Hong Min, a team that has returned in a new guise to the BML as it has grown from 8 to 10 teams. The lack of energy showed as lethargic tackles went in, the lack of chasing not down to the lack of desire, and so the Red Lions opened up a big hole in midfield which the opponents took advantage of. And within a few minutes the Lions were 1-0 down.

The pressure was kept on the Lions but instead of being the dunce of the team, I was the one who kept the Lions in with a shout with a couple of saves low to my left and right. Not getting complacent, for once, I kept my concentration going. As I am my own worst enemy in these things, and given my lack of playing hours since returning from Bangkok in April, I was well aware that even though I was playing well, this was no time for self congratulatory slaps on the back.

What I had told the guys before the game was forgotten as no one looked for a short throw out, and so I had to resort to soft kicks out, all of which went pretty much where I wanted them to, which in itself was a huge surprise to me, as well as the rest of the team.

Half time came and it was still 1-0, the Lions not really doing anything in the game to trouble the opposition’s keeper. The second half started pretty much in the same fashion as the first, and I made another one-handed save to keep the Lions in it, but as the half wore on, one more goal came – a little soft, to be honest, as I should have had the near post better covered, but no one was giving me a hard time about it.

Still none of my defenders or midfielders were looking for a short ball and so I tried a punt kick up field. I felt my groin split open…. the hernia ripping by a good 2 or 3 cm as I reeled over in agony.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” I screamed like a girl. With no more substitutes available though, getting off the pitch was not going to happen. Thankfully there were mere minutes before the final whistle, and so I could hobble off the pitch, knowing that one week after that I would be starting the healing process.

Unless – of course – the health card was not working again…

Let’s be honest here – the lighting industry is boring. It’s not something that anyone – I am sure – can actually get truly excited about. Colour temperatures, beam angles… yes all very important to the ambiance of a place, but it’s a fugging light. Turn it on, it lights up. Turn it off, the place goes dark. Simple enough. Yes LED’s are technology that are driving the industry along a new direction, but come off the grass – it is NOT exciting. It is still a fooking light. You can illuminate buildings and bridges in colours, bathing them during the evening in colours they would not normally have, changing colours every few seconds gradually. Very very pretty. And also very very boring.

Several of my clients had decided to head to Hong Kong for the lighting show and so I figured it was best for me also to go there. Not being Hong Kong’s biggest fan though, I was hardly excited about being there. The only good thing – as far as I could see – was the fact that I would be out of the office. Ok, not the only good thing, as I would also have the opportunity to catch up with Manfred, my energetic customer from Germany, who is always good for a laugh, and can drink like a fish. Ok, perhaps it would not be TOO bad being there.

Three of us from the company decided to go – Harry and Will joining me for this mini trek. We had been invited to the booth of one of our suppliers which we took full advantage of, in that we decided to hijack it and use it for our own purposes. Working for a mega cheap company – so cheap in fact, that the three of us had to sleep in one room, with only 2 beds (and a padded window sill) – meant that we were always going to try to pay nothing whilst benefitting completely from the generousity of our suppliers, even though we are shafting them. Thankfully for the supplier in question, they had pretty much worked out our plan and so it was scuppered.

We met up with my man Manfred and had a quick chat before heading to our supplier, whose booth was smaller than an ant’s apartment. Was this a company that was almost as cheap as my own employer? Surely not. Definitely not, but also not too far off. At least these guys got their own room in the hotels.

I arranged to meet up with Manfred in time for happy hour at the hotel – free drinks which sounded perfect after the crappy times I have experienced recently with work. In the mean time I had a meeting to attend, the guy not turning up so after half an hour I headed out to the Starbucks for a coffee and an amazing green curry pie. The coffee did absolutely nothing to keep me awake, but the pie did fill up the stomach enough to shut it up for a while.

With more meetings arranged for the next day, I decided enough was enough and headed back with Manfred to the hotel where we met up once more on the 28th floor for free drinks and finger food. Stuffing ourselves on nachos and mini egg rolls did not satisfy the stomach, but the wine did a good job and it kept flowing until 8, when happy hour ended and drinks were no longer complimentary. No worries. By this time, Will and Harry had joined us, arriving 5 minutes after happy hour ended (gutted) and so we all headed out in taxis to the seedy part of town where we were pressured (yea right) in to eating Indian food.

Before entering the restaurant we negotiated a discount for the food and told them we were not paying more than 15 HK$ for beers, which the owners said yea no worries then fed us so much, the nachos and egg rolls having taken up more space than we had anticipated.

Off for beers at a bar next door – where the owner knew how to work the tables, especially when the guests are already drunk foreigners trying to hit up a score. We bought her drinks and Manfred chatted her up – talking up the size of his wiener – trying to get her to go back to the hotel with him. I have no idea how much we drank, but I was getting pissed up, the mixture of wine, beers and Springboks all having their own private party in the confines of my stomach, and so decided to also call it a night.

In the room, Harry called room service and got them to deliver some noodles. After putting the phone down we all fell asleep. The next morning we woke up, hungry.

“Where’s my fugging noddles?” said Harry.

The meetings that day were all pretty good – we ended up meeting most clients at the coffee shop on the 3rd floor of the exhibition hall – and then I had an evening meeting and dinner with a guy from the Netherlands I wanted Manfred to meet. So we all got together, walked a little march from the exhibition hall, found some cheap eatery that the locals eat at, and had dinner there. Cheap, decent food, shitty service, and a lot of laughter and talk. Having eaten our fill, we said goodbye to our Dutch friend and headed back to the hotel – alas because of the previous night’s events we were all still tired so it was an early night.

The final day in Honkers was a breeze – we set u shop nice and early in the coffee shop on the third floor which temporarily became our booth. As people walked past, or asked if they could also sit at the table to enjoy their coffees or sandwiches or whatever, we said sure – but they had to take our brochure. We had meetings, discussions, and even made some sales.

We saw Manfred once more, as well as some Aussie clients and had a good time. I finished up my last meeting, then we headed out to some restaurant where they served some special crab that Will and Harry wanted to eat – they also ordered enough food to feed the whole population of Addis Ababa for a week. Stuffed properly we headed back to the hotel, picked up the luggage and headed out to the airport. 3 days of drinking, business and basically taking the piss out of Will the whole time were at an end.

And my view of Hong Kong has changed, ever so slightly.

Man it hurts. Get surgery on one hernia, get the second treated for free. Yea great deal doc. Cheers mucker. Lots of drugs, 2 big slits down my legs and some mesh inserted in to my groin to make sure my insides don't fall out any more. Then sewn back up for good measure. The doc reckons I will be able to run again in a week. He is - of course - known for his enjoyment of recreational drugs, and I think it is fair to say he had just come off a particularly long night on the weed.

Nice huh? Don't you want some just like it? I went in to hospital on Thursday, got all the stuff checked, got to the same point as last time which was the blood tests were all fine but then the health card did not work, so i called up the office, told them to sort it out yesterday and 5 minutes later the card was working just fine, and then dropped off the stuff in my room before leaving hospital and heading to Cafe India for dinner. A couple of beers and a great meal later, back in the car, out to Linkou, and in to hospital.

The doc came to talk with me the following morning, told me what he was going to do - I was not worried! No big deal for me. He reckoned there may only be one hernia, on the left, and I said it was weird because all the pain was on my right, and he said he would look and judge it when he started surgery.

I was taken down - Claire came with me the whole way... as this was her turf, she knew pretty much all the people in the hospital, I reckon! Then in to the op room, the anaesthetist prepping up. The usual question came - how long til I am asleep. A minute he said. Bollocks I said. 45 seconds tops.... I felt it, fought it for all of a millisecond, and off I went. When I woke up, I was drugged up so felt no pain.

But now those drugs have worn off, and ouch!

And back to work tomorrow! YAY!

It had been planned for some time – my good friend Hun Kyu had invited me over to Korea for a few days to meet him and his Japanese friend, Kobayashi san, to talk about business and see some of his products. I have known Hun Kyu for many years, and he has met two of my previous girlfriends. Interestingly enough, both these relationships ended within days of Hun Kyu meeting them.

So I decided to risk the relationship with Claire on this one, and took her with me to Seoul. As I had been given a freebie trip, with the flight and hotel paid for (at least, for two nights) it was truly a half price trip, and Seoul is a great place for culture and shopping. Thus it was ideal for Claire and me to have our first true excursion together.

We flew Asiana Airlines – a fine airline, with no frills, but they were on time, and did what was expected of them, although we arrived at the airport so late, all we got were middle seats. No worries – they organized something vegetarian for me, and that is all I care about on short haul flights.

Once in Seoul we found the place to get the bus, paid for the ticket and jumped on board. Korean drivers used to be a patient lot, but that has changed since my last visit, and I saw many people race through red lights. It was like being in Taiwan. There was also an accident which delayed our arrival in the south of the city – slightly annoying, but nothing terrible. Finally we made it to the bus stop and got off, then I had to navigate towards the hotel. I got us close, but Claire saw the hotel itself, so was responsible for me not getting upset and impatient. We checked in, headed upstairs and shortly afterwards Hun Kyu called us down for dinner.

The 4 of us headed to a tofu restaurant, Hun Kyu and Kobayashi san having already eaten, so the huge amount of food on the table was essentially for Claire and me alone. Having been suffering from a virus the previous couple of days, this was the first time I had eaten in 5 days, so I was very happy to be eating once more, although my stomach had shrunk just a little, and I was not able to bunt quite as much as perhaps I would have been able to a week or so prior.

The food was excellent, the alcohol fantastic – we had Korean plum wine – and the discussions and conversation as always animated. After a very enjoyable dinner we headed back to the hotel, arranging to meet for breakfast with Kobayashi san the next morning.

And so after breakfast, Claire went back to the room and did her thing – some shopping in the local Lotte World, whilst your humble chronicler headed over to some meetings that were sponsored by the local industry and commerce chamber, hence the freebie! I had to meet with some companies who – for some strange reason – thought that I would be interested in talking with them. I wasn’t really, but there really is no such thing as a free lunch.

A propos lunch, the break was long and the food non-veggie, so I was a little bored, despite having had Hun Kyu and Kobayashi san to keep me company. In the afternoon, after my final meetings, we were taken to Hun Kyu’s new office to see his products, have a demo, and talk about the opportunities open to all of us to work together.

Hun Kyu has an exceptional imagination and creative zen. He can come up with ideas for products that are fantastic, and all he needs is someone with his energy and creative ability to sell. This – as you can imagine – is where your humble scribe comes in to the equation.

Finally it was time to leave and go collect Claire before going out for dinner at a very traditional Korean restaurant, suggested to us by Hun Kyu’s better half, Minkie. Once more the food was exceptional and we had a great time together. After dinner it was time to get a quick coffee, before heading back to the hotel. Having not slept so well the previous night – thanks to an uncomfortable bed and not quite having shaken the virus I had – I decided the last thing I needed was a coffee so instead I had an exceptionally sweet mango shake. Claire – who has been known to suggest that caffeine does not affect her – had a coffee. This time, it was she who could not sleep.

On the Friday we headed in to the city, did some shopping and saw some famous gate, which I named Doraemon. I think it was Dong Da Men. The shopping centre was ok, Claire buying some clothes, but I did not see anything I liked, so was content with a coffee and cake. We sat down, relaxed, looked around, then headed back to our hotel. We asked for a tofu restaurant close to the hotel, and were given directions to a place which was closed. As it had started to rain, we decided to eat at a Japanese place, where the food was decent enough. Having difficulty in finding something veggie to eat in Korea it was a lot easier just to point and get Claire to show the piece of paper upon which someone had written “vegetarian – no meat or fish!” This was understood, I got fed, Claire ate whatever she liked, and – satisfied – we walked back to the Gallery Hotel where Claire slept like a baby, your humble narrator watching the Champions League football on TV.

On the Saturday we decided – after a quick coffee and shopping trip to the local Lotte World, where I bought pretty much all available raspberry wine - on a cultural trip, heading to the palace in the north of the city where we were treated to a small presentation by some children who wanted us to go and visit their town, close to the border with North Korea. It actually looked very nice, but we had planned the whole day, so we decided to go next time. The palace was beautiful, and then we found the museum of Korean culture, which was right next door. I got the feeling that Koreans are trying to find their own identity – that they are not sure really who they are. After centuries of domination by the Chinese and Japanese, they certainly don’t want to be like them, but finding their own true selves seems to be difficult for them.

We then took another walk, and I saw a sign towards the Tibetan museum, which I had difficulty explaining to Claire. We ended up not finding it anyway, instead finding another castle or palace place, which we went into and had a guided tour of. In Korean. This – to be honest – quickly got boring, as the whole massive place was very much same same as everything else we had seen up to that point. All the architecture, despite being very picturesque, was now all too much for me. We left, and headed towards an area of Seoul that is famous for shopping. We had some dinner – hot pot – and did some shopping. Claire bought some cosmetics for her friends, I found (finally) something I actually wanted to buy – a pair of shoes. Gorgeous they were, but they were not available in my size, so I was slightly disappointed. The area was packed with people, and there was not really anything that now caught our eyes, so after a while we headed back to the station and headed back.

We walked along the shopping street, and once more that pair of shoes was seen, so I asked after my size, but it was sold out. Booger. It seemed impossible to actually buy things in Korea.

With an early morning call, we got up and headed out to the bus stop. The first bus was full, as was the second and I was beginning to worry – I had not left huge amounts of time to get to the airport, and with one bus every 20 minutes, we were beginning to look like we may have to stay an extra day. Thankfully the bus company saw this and laid on a new bus for us, which got us to the airport perfectly on time. We sorted out the tax refunds for all Claire’s shopping, had a quick donut, and that was it – we were on the plane.

We got home to two hungry kittens who had missed us, so after some cuddles and food, Claire and I headed up the mountain for some delicious veggie food, before heading home for a relaxing evening on the sofa, with a tub of Haagen Dazs to keep us company. We had survived our first trip abroad together, and – we hope – also the Hun Kyu test. If she’s still with me in 10 days time, I may have to marry her!

It is exactly 6 months since she took her last breath. I won't forget it. I can't. I still hear it, the last air to leave her lungs as she departed this world. I miss my Kahukura.

Even though there are 2 new kittens in my life, my world, my apartment, it's just not the same. Her last night, she knew it. She slept at my feet, even though it was not comfortable for her. I take comfort in the knowledge that the end came quickly for her. Now she is at peace, 6 months since I buried her on the mountain, overlooking the river, where she can watch the birds, and let her spirit soar.

It is possible that I may be moving soon - about 200 metres down the road from where I live now. My rent is up in January, and so instead of paying a large amount of rent per month, I have decided that it is time to spend a larger amount each month on a mortgage, so that in 20 years time, just in time for retirement, I have a place to call my own.

Claire went looking and found a couple of places that look nice. We went to one, and it was indeed nice but the prices extortionate. Despite trying to haggle there was no way that we could have got the sort of price that was, in my humble opinion, affordable. Then we went to the next new building, which has been constructed at the same level back from the river as my current pad, only with another building in the way (albeit with an illegally built top floor). We had a look at some of the apartments - some were ok, some were nice, and one was fantastic. 8th floor and absolutely perfect. But a tad expensive.

Enter Rob and his negotiation skills. Sure it is in Chinese, but money is money, and everyone understands numbers. In a recession, property prices fall and it is supposedly a good time to buy. With Claire as my translator, and me occasionally reverting to Mandarin, when and where I actually felt like I could be bothered to do so, the negotiation phase was interesting, as they wanted 9.2 million NT$, and I was not prepared to go that high. Claire was looking at 2 apartments, suggesting the one on 7th floor would be cheaper, and therefore could be our backup in case we did not get the one we wanted. I suggested we forget the one we don't really want and focus on the one we do.

So we got them down to 8.5, and I still wanted them to get to 7.5, but they refused. The negotiation continued. And we settled on a sum that was most satisfactory to us, and pretty much as low as they could go. We put a deposit down, and now comes the fun of looking at how the heck we are going to be able to afford to get the full deposit. But I am a man of means, and by means I am referring to the Olds, and so a nice long phone call to them pretty much secured everything we need to get the pad. I just hope the apartment company will accept the proposal I have for them.

The new place has 3 bedrooms, a nice living space, 2 balconies, a decent bathroom and a larger kitchen than I am used to, which means I get to make even more mess when I cook. It will be fantastic for having dinner parties and I think even a small grill out on the main balcony for evening braai's, whilst looking out over the river, with Da Tun Shan in the background. Very shagadelic.

But the great thing about the new place, apart from the river view, which is simply stunning, is that I can also look out on to Guanyin Shan, where my baby Kahukura is buried. Leaving the area behind ... it would be hard. But now I can be even closer to her. Just a shame she could not be there with me to enjoy it.

I have had this pain in a very personal area for some time, so decided to get it checked over. I went to a sports injury specialist who thought perhaps it was a hernia, and referred me to another specialist for further checks. I headed in to the hospital that evening, and was told I had a mild hernia, and that I should either wait to see if it healed or go and get it sorted out with an operation. As I had had this pain for some time and it had not got better I told him to schedule the surgery for as soon as possible. The operation was then planned for the following week.

I booked 2 days off work, and was happy to finally be able to recover – playing football when you can’t kick a ball because of the pain is not my idea of fun, and anyone who knows me knows how I love my football. Claire wanted to come with me to help – checking me in to the hospital and helping me to get all the pre-checks done, blood tests and blood pressure, and so on. Then came the interesting part. I was about to be checked in to the hospital when I was asked for my health card. I handed it over, but the company had not paid for my health care, and so the card was invalid. So this would mean I either have to wait or I have to pay myself. When I asked how much, the answer was “a lot of money”, and as I do not have “a lot of money”, that one was out of the question too.

I took the next day off work as well anyway, because it was already booked, Claire was free, and I thought sod it. The day after that was a typhoon day, so three days free, plus the weekend made it a nice mini vacation, although I would have preferred to have managed to get sorted out with the op.

When I made it back to work, I told everyone that I had had the surgery – and that the company owed me 40,000 Taiwan Dollars as it had not kept my health payments up to date. When I asked about the status of my work permit and visa, I was informed that actually nothing had happened as they did not know what to do. Glad to see I was working illegally for 4 months. Incompetent workers who prefer to say nothing so that they can save face. So for once I did not get mad, but just suggested that they find out how to resolve this situation, as I can’t afford forty grand every time I get ill. And that – finally – got the ball rolling for the process of my work permit and visa. Two months later, after much labour trying to get all the documentation sorted out, I was informed that my work permit was approved, and that I could collect the document from the department of labour. The only snag to this was that my work permit expired 11 days after it was issued, which is one more prime example of the fine, forward thinking attitude of the company I work for. So the paperwork got started all over again, and I am finally assured that it will be extended by a year. And I have an 11 day window to get to hospital and get my surgery done.

Claire will book me in at the hospital where she works, get me a doctor she trusts, and I should be back on the football pitch, making my famous howlers, by early in the new year. With just a couple of cameo appearances this season so far, I miss my football. I was thinking of hanging up the boots, but there is no chance of that just yet. Maybe after a couple of frustrating Red Lions games my mind will be changed once more, but until then, I will be happy just to play without the jolt of pain in kicking.

One of the first tasks I had with Claire was to clean the apartment. Properly. having not done it since I moved in, almost 8 years ago, it was a project of epic proportions. I was not looking forward to it. Up to that point, I had used one corner, tucked away in a relatively unseen part of my home, as a dumping ground for anything that I could not use at that specific time. And over the course of the years, the pile had grown and grown, the use of the contents minimal. And of course, the more the pile had grown, the less likely I was to actually clean it.

So when Claire said we should clean it, I knew she was right. And when she said we would probably need a complete weekend to do it, she wasn't far off. On the Saturday morning, after having slept out and checked the mails and put it off as long as I could possibly do, it was time to make a start. Claire took over the kitchen, I took on the corner as a start. Box after box of crap was looked at, filtered to find anything I actually wanted or needed, most of it being stuff I had forgotten I had, and the vast majority of that was hardly worthwhile keeping, as I had replaced the stuff I could not find years previously.

As the cleaning continued the apartment was taking on the semblance of a post-American Baghdad, and I was wondering if perhaps the weekend predicted would be enough time to get everything done. As the evening came on though there were signs of progress, as bag after bag, and box after box of trash made their way towards the front door. Claire had done a stunning job with the kitchen, dumping food from the fridge that had been several months out of date, the kittens helping her by playing with anything that she threw on the floor.

Loads of trash was loaded in to the elevator, and taken downstairs, recycling whatever we could. I had 4 full trash bags of clothes which I decided would go to the charity bin. I was dirty and sweaty as load after load of crap from the apartment was taken down. And still it was not over, but for the first day it was - and significant progress had been made.

Sunday came around, and the cleaning continued, and as we had decided to go to meet the Red Lions at Carnegies, there was a little time pressure to get everything sorted out before we left. Amazingly enough just around lunchtime we had it as done as we could, and the place looked good. Claire got busy mopping the wooden floor, and for the first time since I can remember, the apartment looked totally spacious. Awesome.

It looks so nice now that I have regularly cleaned the floor, and am now inviting people over to stay, as I am no longer embarrassed by the mess. The kittens love it because there is even more room to run around, more light is coming in as all the book cases have been moved away from the windows, and I found a window in the mess corner that I did not even know was there. Even that small one now lets in additional light.

To go with the improvements though a new coffee table was required. Claire and I had been out to a place I had seen that looked quite promising, but the tables there were yucky and expensive. Day after day though I went past one place on the way home from work, thinking I need to go in. Last weekend, with Claire at work, I decided to finally ride the 2 km to the furniture store, and have a look. Three tables fit the bill but I told the boss I wanted to wait until Claire could see them and so after finishing work, we went and got some stinky tofu for dinner before dropping in on the store. We chose one for a very decent price - a nice glass top and big enough for both our laptops, so we can watch TV (one day, when I get a TV signal back!) and get online for Facebook and photos (Claire) and football results (me!). And it is oval, so there are no corners for any future children so smack their heads on. Now this is forward thinking!

It was delivered on Monday evening. 5 minutes later another use had been found for the table - a sleeping place for the kittens. Ginge loves to sleep there and climb on to it. In fact, he's there right now as I write. Typical.

There's something about waking up in the morning and finding the apartment you live in completely destroyed, not by some angry Taiwanese bloke with a bulldozer but by 2 kittens who proclaim innocence at all times. The fact that these same 2 kittens go to bed with you and sleep by your side makes it all the easier to forgive them, until it comes to the time for clearing up the mess. And of course, 2 kittens can do it like Lionel Ritchie - all night long.

With Claire working night shift, she spends a lot of her time her in my apartment, during the week and weekend, locking the cats out of the bedroom for one simple reason. The kittens fight and chase each other, and invariably knock things down, smash things or beat the crap out of the wind chime I have in my bedroom, smashing it against the window with a racket loud enough to wake up her family. And they live 80 km away. I am surprised the window has not broken - such is the ferocity they use. So when I get home in the evening, they are of course pleased to see me, because it means they get to go back in to the bedroom.

Waking Claire up is a difficult task for me. The other morning I left the apartment - it was Claire's day off - and waked her 3 times to say bye. But she did not want to wake up. She woke for mere seconds, and dozed off once more. This is typical for the girl who does not want to admit to being tired. All I would need to do is open the door for a few seconds and let the kittens do their thing. Ginge goes straight for the wind chimes. Grace jumps on the bed and sits on Claire for a few seconds. Being the restless kitten that she is though means that it is an absolute max of a few seconds before she starts to move somewhere else, always within range of being stroked.

But every morning and evening it is the same thing - during the time I have been sleeping or in the office, they have worked hard to destroy everything inside the apartment - chairs strewn on the floor, bits from the artificial plants that my landlord so nicely decided to leave in the apartment when I moved in 8 years ago, and anything that had not been firmly in place when I left is on the floor when I get home.

I had a kangaroo - one of those stupid things that anyone who goes down under thinks is a good idea to take home as a souvenir - which has been annihalated and completely ripped apart, I had plastic flowers (I found them whilst cleaning my apartment.... don't ask!) which have now also been discovered by the cats and no longer exist in a floral way, and even the cockroaches have worked out that this is not a place for them to be. At least, not if they want to survive.

And for all their destructive powers, the two babies still have that amazing ability to just look at you in such a way as for everything to be perfectly alright. How could anyone be angry with a face as sweet as these?

It's 8 years today since the world as we knew it chaged completely. Gone are the days of carefree air travel. Gone is the time when you can feel safe, no matter where you go, no matter what you do. An enemy that had been in hiding, building slowly up, suddenly showed its face on 11th September 2001. With the destruction of the Twin Towers and subsequent events, the face of the whole planet changed suddenly.